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Days of old……..
Not many people know this about me aside from those that are close or who know me. My dad, the amazing John William Alcock passed away at the tender age of 41. I say that now. At 11 to me he was old – he was my dad. He was so full of wisdom and scared the bejesus out of me – surely that made him old right? I mean at that age anyone older than 25 is classed as old. My God how wrong I was.
I still remember him begging the nurse that he wasn’t ready and that he was too young to die. For me these are the memories I remember the most because they are imprinted in my head. Ive let go of a lot without realising but there are some memories that will never leave me.
The dad I knew was a big brave Fireman. He rescued people, he made people laugh and he loved nothing more on a Sunday when he wasn’t working than cuddling up with me on the sofa to watch Sinbad. Yes Sinbad. I can’t help but watch it with fond memories because of what it brings back for me. My dad was a fantasist. Much like myself. His glass was always half full and he loved cartoons. Although he hated Bugs Bunny – according to my dad he always won and it annoyed the hell out of him.
I only go by snippets of information that my subconscious has left behind because I also know there is some that I’ve chosen to forget. Our mind is a very powerful thing. Before photography I studied psychology and sociology. Ive always loved people and how our minds work has always fascinated me.
So to bring me to my post – this week a long lost cousin posted some images up of my dad. Ive never seen them before. Infact Ive not seen an image going back to his 20’s so this moved me to tears. When I saw one particular image of him cuddling a bunny he was between 10 and 11 – which ironically is how old both my sister and I were when he died. I know right – goosebumps, it took my breath away. Anyhoo I wanted to share these images with you along with my story because its why photography is so important to me. I looked at his image and was filled with so many emotions the most important being – Im so glad I saw this…..
So moving, thank you for sharing such wonderful photos and memories, a beautiful girl with a lovely dad! It made me think of this quote ‘All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person’s (or thing’s) mortality, vulnerability, mutability. Precisely by slicing out this moment and freezing it, all photographs testify to time’s relentless melt. – Susan Sontag And one of my all time favourites, ‘to live in the hearts of others is not to die’. x x x big hugs girly
Rachel thank you so much for your beautiful and kind words. They mean the world to me and what a beautiful quote by Susan Sontag – definitely one I will treasure xx
This is so lovely having the images and the memories. I can relate as I also lost my dad when I was 11 and never had any photos of him until last month after my auntie past away my uncle found all these photos from my childhood with him. I don’t have any from when he was young but i’m glad I have some photos of us together now 🙂
Thank you for your lovely words and sharing your story with me. Losing a parent so young is so hard and challenging but these keepsakes are worth more than gold. They give me an insight into my dad as a child. Im so sorry to hear about your auntie but am very glad you have your treasured photos 🙂
Sending huge hugs! Photographs are amazing for looking back. The moustaches in these photos made me smile – my dad had one just like them!
I found some home videos of my dad last year and cried for days with happiness at hearing his voice again.